“In this new year, I want God to lead me into unchartered territories that I may do His will. I want Him to be with me through every single moment of my life, good and bad. I want Him to save me from the things that will lead me from Him.”
January 1, 2015.
This was the prayer I wrote on the first day of this year. At the time, I obviously did not know what the year would hold but somehow I just knew that I would need God. I always need Him but this year I found myself running to Him more than ever. I did not understand the significance of what I was really asking of God when I wrote this prayer. But He knew. He knew it all. He knew the many frustrations I would face. He knew the mistakes I would make. He knew every tear that would fall from my eyes. He knew there would be many sleepless nights and internal battles. He knew I would need to be rescued from myself and that I would need a savior.
He just knew.
As every year comes to a close, I reflect on the many lessons that I have learned in that year. 2015 was a special year. It was rather tough in comparison to the year I had last year. Last year, short term and life long dreams came true. My gift made room for me among great people. However, 2015 was different. 2015 was a year of waiting. A year of trusting in the unknown. A year of heartache. A year of having faith even though what was in front of me did not look promising. A year of self-searching. A year of understanding who I am and reevaluating my purpose. But even with the many tears I cried, there was an equal amount of laughter. And even with the many days of waiting on the Lord with no answer in sight during certain situations, there was a surplus of doors opened and prayers answered. You see, although 2015 was a rough year for me, I don’t regret any of it.
2015 taught me a few things. It taught me:
1. How to trust.
2. To have faith.
3. To never settle.
4. To see myself through the eyes of the one who loves me completely.
I learned many things about myself this year. Some of those things I will be taking into the New Year with me. Some will be left behind. All in all, I am glad God knew exactly what I needed when I needed it. I am glad he never took His hand off of me. I am glad that when He looked at me, He did not see what I was but rather He saw what I could be. I am grateful that He was and is my Emmanuel, my Messiah, and my Shepard. I am glad that what I went through was only for a season. Next season there will be new blessings, new challenges, new dreams and visions. I am ready for all that 2016 has to offer. I can and I will walk into the New Year with confidence because I know that my savior will be right with me just like he was this year and the years before that.
2015, so long and thank you for showing me my constant need for a savior. My savior. Thank you for the incredible memories and for all that you have taught me.
2016, I welcome you with open arms and an open heart. I pray this year will be one of growth and that the tears and prayers that were sowed in 2015 would reap a harvest of joy in this new season.
Cheers to the New Year!!!