Today my pastor preached a sermon entitled “Who told you?” He read from Genesis 3:8-11 and Psalm 139:14. Psalm 139:14 is a very well known psalm. “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”. I have heard this verse many times. I have had people say it to me and I have read it to myself. But until today I don’t think I truly grasped the full meaning of it. He spoke on how the society of today tries to tell us what is acceptable. They try to tell us how to look, what to wear, what to say and the list goes on. They try to tell us that if we don’t have long hair, a skinny body, blue eyes, etc that we are not deemed acceptable in their eyes. This can seem pretty intimidating. As much as we know these standards are not the standards we should live by, we sometimes find ourselves falling right in line with them. I for one am guilty.
Time after time, I would compare myself to others. I have felt down about my appearance. I have felt like I wasn’t pretty enough. I allowed people to make me feel like I was not good enough. I would constantly be compared to my cousins and sister because I was not as skinny as them and my hair wasn’t as long as theirs. After a while I started believing these things about myself. I used to feel like no one would ever like me because my hair is not super long and because I am not skinny. Some might think, girl you are crazy for ever feeling that way. It’s easier said than done. I would have my good days where I would feel super confident about myself but then there were some days I truly despised looking in the mirror. I would cry and read Psalm 139 while trying to remind myself that I was made in the image of God. Therefore none of these things could be true. However, that confidence and assurance would only last but for so long until I went back into the same routine of feeling down about myself.
As my pastor spoke today, he kept asking this question, “Who told you? Who told you?”. In my spirit, I kept asking myself this very same question. Who told me that I was not pretty enough because my hair is not flowing in my back like rapunzel? Who told me that I have to be a certain size and have a certain body shape to be found attractive? Who told me? Well I guess the answer to that question is some family members, the devil, but most importantly ME. I allowed what others were saying about me to become my reality. I started to see what they were saying every time I looked in a mirror. I began to feed myself these same lies. As my pastor continued to preach and the tears rolled down my eyes, I could hear God saying enough is enough. When are you going to believe that none of these things could ever be true because I have made you in my image? When are you going to believe that what society thinks of you is not what I think of you? When will you see yourself the way I see you? I knelt down before Him and automatically began to thank Him for speaking to my heart. Never again will I allow insecurities to consume me. It won’t be easy but I will always put up a fight. I will continually hide this word in my heart. Goodbye negativity. Goodbye insecurities. God made me this way for a reason. Its either people take me as I am or they know where the exit is.Maybe you might find yourself struggling with insecurities. When these insecurities arise, ask yourself “Who told me this is true?” Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don’t just let it be another scripture that you know how to quote but declare it over your insecurities. May you be healed and made whole again.